I Gave Birth to Two Little Assholes
by Luana Fluorite
Summary: I suck at summaries..but here's to a try. Jill Palace, a devoted farmer, gets married to that sneak of a thief. After all those arguments over little things, they end up having their little bedroom scenes and boom! Bun in an oven. Only...it's not just one bun, but two! Trouble starts to brew up in Forget-Me-Not Valley...


HEY THERE! SORRY FOR MY ABSENCES BUT I'M BACK! For the spider rider story. I'll write it when I get my spark back. It might be now or tomorrow or next year! HAHAHA Sorry fans. I promise it'll be loaded before you die though ;)

This is one of my first or very few harvest moon stories I've ever been through enough to write. The story came to me playing the game hahaha. It's lame but...TOOOOO BAAD!

JKJK

Please read, enjoy and review 3

~ Fluorite

err...I haven't written in a while outside of essays and journals. Please pardon me on my childish style of writing.

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The name's Jill Palace. Yes...some people tell me such a ordinary name does not belong with such a elegant last name, like Palace, but hey! It's my name and not yours. Back off! I have to have you lend a ear first on my little secret. I'm married to a outlaw, a sneak, a thief, the same thief that stole my heart the first night I saw him walking (escaping) from my friend Lumina's mansion. Yep, you guessed it, his name is the one and only Phantom Skye. Well...phantom isn't part of it, just the Skye part.

Skye and I had our fair share of come-crosses. In the end, we decided that it was just fate bringing us together. I mean, a nocturnal thief like him! Never been caught and thrown in jail! Comes my way every single time! Imagine that...

Through some sort of warp of mind, through all the hatred that the valley threw openly at the thief (afterall, who likes arrogant sneaks who always gets away with his "borrowed" items?) and through all the mess that I ended up getting into, including the many plots to catch the ninja thief, I somehow gave him the blue feather. He rejects it. My first thought was, "You asshole..." and walks away. Not that I was sulking. Maybe I did appear so, but anyways!

The following night, after all the hard work and chores I have done and all the back breaking planting and watering, chasing of chickens, pushing of cows and sheep in and out of the barn, looking for my cat, helping the villagers, I finally arrived home. Thank goddess...

What was it that surprised me was nothing more than a little piece of paper on my dinner table. A little note with a much approved handwriting that said, "Tonight, I am going to steal your heart away. Yours truly, Phantom Skye." Guess who decided to drop by my lonely farm that night? That's right, Skye.

The white haired nocturnal owl of a thief had decided to come, for what other, than to steal from ME! His goal was the little blue feather in my bookbag. Little did he know I wear that heavy thing to sleep! Ha! What made me happy as a red tomato was the fact that he wanted to steal the feather so that I would not give it to anyone else! (Heck...I would've since he rejected me! Just to shove it in his face!" but in the end, I was still very happy.

What I WASN'T at all please about was the wedding. No guests, no cake, no fancy dress, no groom in a fancy suit, just the goddess pond...AND CURRY! The curry was delicious, but that was all! Just water, two couples, and curry. Might as well as call the wedding a picnic...At least, the sneak made it nice and spicy.

Then there was the arguments. What good couple didn't have arguments after all. The "Don't sleep so late" arguments, the "Lazy!" arguments, the "It's always CURRY!" arguments. Ah...those were the heavenly days. Now we have more pressing matter to concern and occupy our minds with instead. However, let's not skip a chapter.

Skye always left at night and in the morning slept till 10. Honestly, that silver-haired nocturnal idiot comes back at like 5 or 6 IN THE MORNING! Ya would've thought he would have least come home earlier for the special days or at least not leave at all! I actually don't even remember how we had our little bed-room scenes. He leaves before midnight! I come home at 10! My curfew is 11. His curfew is...5 in the morning.

But!

I ended up pregnant anyways. Somehow...

That shocked me (and Skye.) What shocked me more was half-way through my nine months of heavy baggage came the news of twins. I was okay with that of course. The more, the merrier, at least there would be more people around when my owl husband was not around. What got me scared was about a month later I returned to see the gender of these little precious angel**s **mine. Yep, almost fainted...

**BOYS! **

I'm okay with boys. I'm not sexist. Boys and girls are equal in my eyes. If they both worked hard, both could lift a boulder, eat as much, sing as good, run as far, slack off as much, cook as great, ect. It's just...at times boys cause more trouble than girls. Study says (it's true) boys like sharp objects while girls liked smoother objects. While I'm not saying I'm scared my babies will run off to kill someone in the valley, I'm talking about twin boys and their minds. Twin girls are so adorable. They keep gossips nicely. They are like a set of dolls, they are besties, whatever. Twin boys, through all literature and shows I've watched in my whole of life, they wreck things, plan evil "games" and are so mischievous that they trail angry mobs into the house..

Skye says I'm waaayyy too paranoid. I hope so too. I don't need to have to leash down the two like a dog or herd them in and out of the house like the cattle.

I'm just saying...boys...are...TROUBLE

After my two seasons of farming with a big belly, bigger than most single child mommies, out popped my two angels.

I first have to retell my remaining days as a pre-mom. I have 3 chickens, Usal, Popeyes (She didn't like that name much..wonder why..), and Screws, two sheeps, Mary and Wooly, two cows, Milker and Four-spots, three dogs, Yuna and her kids Kickball and Superman, my cat, Quarters, and my three ducks, Nutquacker, Nutcracker, and Quack the Duck. Thats 14 animals and my huge as cyclopes field of strawberries, then corn the next season over. It was back breaking, stomach dragging, soreness of lead-legs work. Guess what else? Skye didn't even help. Besides helping herd the cows and sheep in and out of the barn. If it weren't for Takakura I really wouldn't have survived those nine months of work. Who could pull up weeds, plant and water crops, and harvest corn when there is a huge bulge with two buns in the oven in there. It was terrible. Work slowed down horribly. Between me and puking, me and my mood swings, me and the asses that kicked every five minutes, me and the bathroom every three seconds, me and just not wanting to get up, there was just a mass of unshipped things.

Not to mention the day of the labor and delivery. TWO HOURS of horrifying pain, pushing and sweat. I hated sweat. One would've thought that after working for 3 years in the ranch, especially through the heat during summer, I would've gotten used to sweat. Nope. Than the 2 hours of labor. That didn't count the water breaking and the rush of the doctor and Nina. The two hours of labor I was talking about, resolved completely around me pushing, pain, and me screaming. Of course, I knew Skye was there for me NOW. NOW when I was in the most pain I've ever felt. NOW when the babies are about to pop out. NOW when I didn't have back breaking farm work to deal with. What a great husband.

After all the wonderfulness of labor and pain (AND SWEAT) caming out of ME first was Ethan. Eight minutes later, out came his twin, Evan.

After all those nights of talks to Skye about the twins and my fear of them bringing angry mobs home, Skye finally convinced me that the two would be angels. I can't say how angelish they could get with a thieving father, but in short terms...

For once I wished I believed him, the two being angels. They say what you think you're babies will come out as, will effect them.

Guess what? I gave birth to two little devils.

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Err...short and lame...hahaha... -.-" boring to the bone, but hey! It's me! Can't expect much from me!

To be continued...soon...

REVIEWZ PLEAZZZ


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